‘For too long I’ve been called a ‘Biffo’

Comedian and Birr native hits back at Offaly put-down

Comedian Edwin Sammon has hit out at a recent survey that ranked Offaly bottom of the list when it comes to the best places in Ireland to live.

The authors of the Ireland Liveability Index say they compiled the list to take the guesswork out of relocating out of large cities, which has been accelerated due to remote working in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Counties are scored out of 100, according to natural amenity and scenery, proximity to a city, sunshine and cost of housing.

Wexford was found to be the best place to live, and was top of the list with a score of 74, while Offaly came last with a score of just 36.

“I heard about this survey drawn up by two scientists, and Offaly was bottom of the list. I was asked to come on the radio and defend it but of course the first thing I said was that I’m calling from Dublin city where I’ve lived for 15 years now,” begins Edwin, “And I very rarely go back to Offaly so I’m probably not in the best position to defend it seeing as I don’t live there.

“But I am an Offaly native originally, I’m from Birr. I moved to Cork first when I was younger, and of course Cork is the greatest city in the country according to the people who live there. I liked Cork but I came up to Dublin to do a course and ended up staying here for my career.

“And while I’m not doing stand-up comedy at all now because the pandemic has stopped all that, I couldn’t really do stand-up comedy in Birr town because it’s not really set-up for that.

“There’s enough pubs to do it in but they would have kicked me out if I had started telling jokes. So I moved to Dublin for career purposes basically.”

Quiet solitude

Edwin admits however that it was his native county that he returned to when recovering from cancer.

“I did move home for a while when I was sick with cancer, that’s seven years ago now at this stage. I found myself moving home to convalesce, and I found the quiet solitude of Offaly life to be a pleasant change of pace.

“I think for some reason Offaly is the butt of jokes a lot of the time. If you’re from the Midlands, you’re a ‘bogger’, and I can’t really deny that because I spent many a summer footing turf which gave me a healthy appreciation for the benefits of hard labour because it would keep us warm in winter. My father worked with Bord na Móna for many years as a surveyor.

“So I’ve walked, literally trotted, along the bogs of the Midlands for many years. But that’s one of the reasons it didn’t do very well in this index.”

The plus-side

“Offaly has a reputation for being a very flat county, but I think that’s good because you can feel safe because you can see people coming from a mile off. You’d never be caught unawares, if there was anyone with any ill-will towards you, you’d see them coming,” reasons Edwin.

“They forget about the Slieve Bloom Mountains of course, and the Bigfoot that allegedly lives there,” he laughs, “I literally just threw that in there to try and garner interest in Offaly.

“It’s definitely not as scenic as somewhere like Kerry, because I’ve a few friends from Kerry and whenever I go down there I’m always struck by how ‘Lord of the Rings’ it is. Offaly doesn’t have that, but then Kerry doesn’t have a bog full of sculptures which you can go and visit.

“So there’s a lot of unique things about Offaly, and my own home town of Birr has some unique things that it’s, eh, ‘proud of’.

“There’s a little plaque up outside the Church of Ireland church because it’s the site of the first automobile fatality. For me it’s an interesting thing to be ‘proud of’. I guess it’s a warning, it’s a road safety warning from history.

“But also the first All Ireland was played in Birr, and there’s a Tesco now in celebration of the fact, in the field where it once was. I mean they put up a statue as well, but I think the Tesco is much more of a reminder,” he says tongue-in-cheek.

“Birr Castle and telescope is definitely one thing we can be proud of. At one stage it was the largest telescope in the world, but it was never actually a working telescope because the lens was in a museum in England somewhere, and we had to ask very nicely for them to give it back to us, which they did.”

Comedy podcast

Like many in the entertainment industry, Edwin found his work dry up overnight when the pandemic hit, but he has now brought his comedy online with his solo podcast called Edwin Sammon of Knowledge.

“I found myself not being able to perform stand-up comedy in front of an audience which I didn’t think I would miss as much. At the beginning of the lockdown it kind of felt like we were in a movie, where we had Leo Varadkar talking about extreme measures. It seemed like something out of fiction, and you kind of get used to the strangeness of it, but as it dragged on I found myself at a loss,” he admits.

“My fiancé felt that instead of me earwigging her for hours on end, that I should go into a room by myself and quietly talk into a microphone. Obviously there was no ulterior motive on her part…

“I had a tour booked for 2020 called Edwin Sammon of Knowledge. I had resisted any fish-based puns with my name for a long time, and then I just decided to go for it, and that then became the name of the podcast.

“It was just me talking out loud, and people started listening to it and I got some nice messages from Canada and the like, saying they enjoyed it. I made a few nice little penpals out of it basically.

“And whenever I got bored, I would ‘interview’ various ‘celebrities’, such as Barry Gibb from the BeeGees, or Sean Connery, until Sean Connery died.”

Edwin has also started writing a book to give him something to work towards, and is even flirting with the idea of changing career.

“I’m looking at, I don’t want to say a ‘proper job’, but work that’s not in the entertainment industry. Because I have a son on the way, he’s due in June.

“My chosen career field has been impacted quite severely by the pandemic, I’m basically unemployed, and I thought what else can I do to add to my financial worries than bring another human into the world,” he laughs.

“But no, we’re very happy and I do think there is a baby boom happening. I only hope that once June arrives we can show him off a bit and not be stuck inside all the time.”

Returning to the topic of Offaly, Edwin offers that as “Nobody wants to live there, it means that property prices are low, which is a good thing”.

“It feels like I’m unjustly slagging Offaly, but for too long I’ve been called a ‘Biffo’, which is something I have always taken offence to.

“I don’t weigh as much as I used to, I’m not as big, and I’m definitely not ignorant. And as for the rest of it, I’ll just leave that up to people’s personal opinions.”

Check out the Edwin Sammon of Knowledge podcast on Spotify, and follow along on Facebook and Twitter.